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It seems sometimes like
no matter what we do there is always a reason to fear. In this economy
where here in New York City there is near 8% unemployment, people are
feeling the pinch no matter what industry they are in. It used to be that
actors always took the road of uncertainty and people would ask, “So you’re
an actor huh… where do you wait tables?” But now the uncertainty seems to
be hitting everyone across every industry. It seems like our destiny is
always in someone else’s hands whether it is a job interview for a major
corporation or an open call with 6000 of your closest friends for the next
edition of American Idol!
So with all this
perceived uncertainty, where do we find our power? How can we approach
these situations without coming in like beggars at the table, asking for
whatever crumb they may or may not choose to give us?
First I would ask you to
close your eyes and think for a few moments. Imagine the people that you
know who seem to simply attract success. Those people who radiate it and
seem to find it effortlessly. These are people that you are naturally
attracted to; that you and probably everyone else want to be around. Got
‘em in your mind? Good. Now what is it about them that you find so
irresistibly attractive (and please don’t say their cute butt… it may be
true but go deeper) How do they interact with others? Do they give you
energy or do they suck energy from you? What about their confidence level?
Really look and see what some of the qualities they have are. Make a list.
Here are some qualities
of “magnetic attraction” that my clients and I have come up with:
Confident, very present and in the moment, they provide value in every
interaction, they are considerate, they are positive, they have reserves in
all areas of their lives, they have a clear and compelling vision for their
future, they know what their values are and orient their life around them,
and the list goes on and on. These are all things that we can work on and
they will all be themes in upcoming newsletters. However, for this one I am
going to focus on a perspective shift. Where do we find power in situations
where it seems like someone else holds all the cards? The example I use here
relates to auditions or job interviews. You can extrapolate this lesson to
many other situations so read on!
A very dear friend of
mine, Ray, has been a working actor for over 37 years and has never had to
have another job. Quite an admirable feat if you ask me. One day we were
riding in the car and he was glowing about an audition he had had for a hit
Broadway show. He arrived and was greeted by all the “usual suspects” for a
job of that magnitude. There were 20+ still and Lord knows how many before
him since the auditions had been going on for hours prior to his arrival.
All different shapes and sizes and all very well respected in the industry.
Now many people in that situation would have immediately started listening
to the “discouraging voice” in their head asking “why am I here?” and
“what’s the use.” But not Ray. He shook his head, smiled and sat to await
his turn.
Ray went in, did his
thing well, laughed, smiled and sure enough it was brilliant. It all simply
flowed together into an ideal audition experience. He could feel it. The
directors laughed, smiled and applauded. He left there with a smile on his
lips feeling great! A few hours later got a call from his agent … the
auditioners LOVED him and he was definitely in the running. The only cog in
the works, however, was that they may change the concept of who the
character was and Ray might simply not be right physically to cover the
other lead. He was completely content with that and in fact continued to
bathe in the glory of what a wonderful audition he had had. Not
disappointed, not bitter but actually in a state of joy!
Being the coach that I
am I asked him what were the factors that all came together to make this
such a wonderful experience. He thought for a few minutes and said that
there were 3. I have distilled them down for you here.
1. Know yourself. “I
have been in this business a long time and I really know what I can do. I
know where I can sabotage myself and I know how to avoid those things. I
have done my therapy and I know that I can only do what I do. If they want
or need something else then so be it - that’s all I can do. I can’t be all
things to all men.
2. Be prepared. “I
was prepared. I had done my homework and knew my stuff. I wasn’t
fumbling with my papers or my book and I was able to work effortlessly.
I was relaxed and enjoying what I was doing so everybody else could also.”
3. Know that they need
you. “I have been on the other side of the casting table before. Once when
I was casting a major national tour I sat through over 1000 auditions for
the lead and after all those auditions we saw only ONE person – count ‘em
ONE – who could do the lead. So I know that the people on the other side of
the table are stuck with whoever walks through that door. If they suck too
bad – that’s all they have. Your power lies in the knowledge that THEY NEED
YOU FOR THEIR VISION TO BE COMPLETE AND FOR THEIR PROJECT TO BE REALIZED.”
Sit with the
ramifications of that for a minute. It seems like that HR person or that
casting director has the keys to the kingdom and you have to bark like a
trained seal to get what they have. How would you feel if the next time
that you were in that situation that you simply held these three principles
in your head. What if you really knew yourself, came in extremely well
prepared and then realized that THEY NEED ME… I HOLD THE KEYS TO WHAT THEY
WANT.
So what can you do right
now to get to know yourself deeper? What are your values? Where do you
always make the same mistakes and how can you avoid them? Get a coach or
friend to help you and make a list. How can you prepare yourself and really
master your craft? How can you make the shift realizing that you have power
in these situations? For the heck of it, get a friend or a coach and role
play a job interview or auditions situation. Come at the role play with the
realization that you indeed DO have power. YOU HOLD THEIR KEYS. See how
you feel. See what difference it makes in your confidence and presentation
skills.
Remember… YOU ALWAYS
HAVE A CHOICE!
Roger DeWitt, ACC is an ICF Certified Life Coach specializing in
working with performers and people in the arts. An expert in “the business
of acting,” he works with his clients to
change the way they think about
“the business” and their life. They move “up the ladder” faster and happier
with better results. A specialist in procrastination and overwhelm, he also
offers a complimentary e-course at
www.stopoverwhelm.com . Roger works with individual clients and
groups and can be contacted through
www.lifeartistrycoaching.com
and www.actorslifecoach.com
.
©2003 - Roger DeWitt and Life Artistry Coaching (www.lifeartistrycoaching.com
). Reprinting allowed only with full authorship, bio, copyright and contact
information kept fully intact. No edits or deletions allowed without
permission from the author.
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